In this 365 day period called 2014 one thing that’s become apparent to me is how scared I am.
The fear of leading a hollow life has me in the walls of Jericho (wrestling move by Chris Jericho. You should seriously look that up)
I’m spending every morning paying 25 bucks or so to get from point A to B, A being home and B being school…the mission Is to get to to B so that all I see is A’s when I see my results.
And I wonder if this is the life I’m doomed to live out
Where everything has been planned for me
The formula society has created is simple – school >work > retirement> death
Up all night. Not sleeping has become routine.
but I want to live a dream,instead of surviving in a beautiful nightmare.( beautiful of course being a stretch due to lack of a better word )
I feel like such a contrast when my feet meet the streets and my mind goes into the mechanical “left, right, left right”
I’d like to witness sunsets as I descend into different cities and if I’m not sleeping I’d like to spend that time getting accustomed to girls moaning my name in different accents and seeing pleasure expressed in different languages.
If I can’t get that I’d like to find someone who makes Me question why I question monogamy.
I think I’m just looking for land of…man I don’t even know but a few things are for certain :
I want to be where being comfortable in my own skin Doesn’t mean I’m weird.
Where expressing my emotions doesn’t equate to me being less of a “man” – “moist” they say
Where celebrating my accomplishments doesn’t fill the grape vine with wine juice made of ingredients that are whispers of the words ” he is arrogant” “such an ego” “what an attention seeker”.
A place where life Is more than a job, qualifications on a wall and seeing the battle between the corporate world and my hair style play out.
A place where I won’t get sideway looks When my answer to “what do you want to be when you’re grown up?” Is “HAPPY”
I want to live